Not a Blog Entry (by Mark Acton)

Aaahhhh! Blog!

I promised I’d do the blog this month. No, I volunteered to do the blog this month. It didn’t even seem like a good idea at the time but I did it anyway. The irony is that the only person stupid enough to volunteer to do the blog is in no way intelligent enough to do the blog.

I’ve got too much to do.

And I haven’t written in ages.

If you want to get good at something, you’ve got to do it a lot. It’s called practice. I haven’t practised. I have too much to do. Too much on my mind. There’s no way I’ll be able to sit here and write something creative. I just don’t have the time to sit at my laptop and type random creative stuff. There’s work to do, shopping to do, pots to wash. There are always pots to wash. How can I write a blog entry when I have pots to wash.

Must buy eggs.

But I promised that I would write this blog post and so I will. I will make an effort to write something cohesive and entertaining and logically structured and thought-provoking and I must remember to pick my daughter up from work.

So, the best way to write the blog about the writers’ group meeting is to write it straight after the meeting. That way everything’s fresh. Lemony fresh. Like Fairy Liquid. Must get some more Fairy Liquid if I’m going to wash the pots.

Obviously, I’ve not written it straight after the meeting. I’ve left it until the night before the next meeting to even start writing my blog entry. Not good.

It’s also a good idea to write notes at the meeting. Hmm, what denominations do I want the notes in when I get the Euros out for my daughter’s trip to France? It’s best then to decide early on in the meeting that you are going to volunteer. Then you can start writing the notes early.

I didn’t do that.

I started writing notes towards the end of the meeting. I hope they make sense. I’ll go and check them now. Well, in a bit. I’ll just check whether I’ve done all my marking first.

Member of CBA club; diversions; Sound of Silence playing in the background; wake up from hibernation; feelers out there; still hibernating; not much by way of news; didn’t finish anything; failed slightly this time; more in hope than expectation; one day they’ll be kicking themselves; nothing specific; my only companion; it is coming along; an assassination plot; you woke up too soon; a vacant space; can we wake up soon enough; out of sync; tip it out; someone came along with a tick list; next year; Luddites; I’m not a violent man; write the word dilemma; it was a shambles; the prowess of incompetence into an art form; an afternoon nap; vengeance is mine.

Good notes. Don’t make sense. Must trim the hedges. Mow the lawn while the sun’s out.

When you’re out of practice writing, you lose your sharpness. You can’t solve the writing problems so easily. And much of writing is problem solving.

You’re on your own in a box; a solid room with four walls and a flat ceiling. No doors, no windows. How do you get out?

Solve the problem.

Think outside the box.

Write your way out.

Or don’t. Sit there and wait until someone cleverer than you on the outside works out how to get in.

Deus ex machina.

Make people want to come in to your world.

Don’t come into my world. It’s full of spreadsheets and lacking in imagination. Invent your own world. Make it better than this one.

Better get tea on.